dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
