Do you still have your period?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize