Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
