I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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