Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
