Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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