do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Vodka?
Forever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
