Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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