Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
