Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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