Sry I called you an 8
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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