everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
