im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
