How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
