what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
