We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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