i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
