She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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