CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
