As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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