Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.