Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...