i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?