belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
