That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
