ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
