how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
