Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
