Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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