Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
