Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
no, he came in my armpit
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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