There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
