I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
