Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
