Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
