There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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