I hate all girls vehemently.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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