I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
