it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
