dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
