Duck Duck Cougar?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
