come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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