found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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