i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
