Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
