he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
