have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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