So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize