i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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