haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
