I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Someone signed my nipple.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
