I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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