She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
