listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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