Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
