he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
