Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Damn victory sex feels great
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize